Firstly, I’d like to say how strange it feels to be writing about myself! I’m sure many of us would feel that so I’ll have to just get past it and dive in.
I have spent most of my working life in the financial markets creating products and businesses. I am proud of the way I challenged the status quo, always starting from the perspective of understanding and solving customer challenges, particularly when large corporations were dominating markets to the detriment of small businesses and the general public.
On 6th September 2012 BANG!!! I was hit by a London taxi. The main impact was to my head and my injuries were catastrophic. Imagine a pumpkin smashed with a sledge hammer…you get the picture.
To rewind a little. After 25 years working in companies owned by others I was itching to build my own business. I was in the process of doing this but kept getting offers for strategic consulting roles given my previous experience. I had resisted all of them until one came along that was just too good to let go past me. I had negotiated amazing terms, including agreement for me to continue setting up my own company alongside the consulting role. The call confirming the consulting contract came at the end of the working day on 6th September. The day in question. I agreed and shortly after my life changed in a split second.
My last recollection works out to be about 20 minutes before the accident. Everything past that point is a total blank, until…..
Pandemonium. Watching myself laid out in an ambulance as it comes to an abrupt halt, doors crashing open, loud shouting, another set of doors crash, inside now, bright light, more loud shouting, people scuttling to get out of the way. This was the classic scene we’ve all seen in many movies. I was separate from my body, observing it and everything going on around it. Definitely not in it but somehow strangely still attached to it, observing everything from above, from a higher vantage point.
What came next was different. It is extremely difficult to describe as our senses as we know them seem very primitive by comparison but I’ll do my best. There was a warmth, like water that is exactly your own body temperature, a feeling of being totally supported, almost floating, like being in blue saline fluid with a viscosity that held me. Although, at the same time as having this awareness I was also aware that I had no physical form. I was pure consciousness. An awareness. I was also aware of a diffused yellow light surrounding me. The feeling of love and bliss was beyond words. So much more than our human perceptions of love. It was the most loving, nurturing parent, total unconditional love. I cannot find the words to do this feeling justice as it is beyond anything I have experienced before or after.
I no longer had any concept of “Steve”. I had no awareness of anything other than the present moment. Time didn’t exist. Just an eternal moment of now.
Bit by bit I started to have more and more awareness of my abilities in this new reality. I started to better understand, almost like I was gradually regaining my memory and then I began to explore. I became aware that the warmth and light were not things I was observing. They were me, they were emanating from me. I was consciousness, with no form. The feelings I was experiencing were like being wrapped in a hug and the most snuggly blanket all at the same time. I then started to understand that as an individual consciousness I could blend with others forming collective consciousness, like a drop of water being dropped into an ocean. There was no separation where I ended and where the collective began. It was one and the same. This was where the hug and the snuggly blanket were coming from, the feeling of total support, bliss and unconditional love. I was able to identify myself as an individual consciousness but I was also part of this incredible and expansive collective.
I then began to understand that I could move through this infinite collective consciousness of limitless knowing, understanding and joy. Everything that ever had been, is or ever could be was there and all it took to get there was intention and focus. This was a place of infinite potential and experience. I know that in that time and space there was no want or desire, just total acceptance and ability.
I cannot tell you how long I was in this reality as time as we know it did not exist. It felt like an eternity but I was suddenly aware of a choice point. I had a knowing, a sense of responsibility and unfinished business. I could not identify what that was but knew that I felt drawn to come back, although in that moment I had no awareness of exactly what it was I was drawn back to.
There are more chapters to this story as there was a very long and arduous ‘journey’ home, before I regained consciousness, but that is for another time. If you are interested and we meet I will tell you more, but that is not for now as that was the end of my experience in the Blue Pool 😉
I was then back, in this reality but not quite the one I left. I was in ICU in a coma for 8 days. I was listening to the daily goings on and could tell that things were extremely serious. Clearly, none of this was showing on any of the monitors but I was back close to the stage I was in shortly after the accident, separate from but attached to my body. Just observing.
I had suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. I had the good fortune that this occurred very near St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington in Central London. Had that not been the case I believe that I would not be here now. The neuro and maxio-facial surgery undertaken was incredible.
My prognosis was not good but I had the blessing of a good “start point” as the neurologists called it. By this they essentially meant my IQ prior to the accident was exceptionally high. The accident would result in a % level of degradation to my brain function but I could have ended up far worse off. Nonetheless I was constantly told to manage my expectations. I didn’t listen and established my own new levels by pushing myself to the point where my brain told me I had pushed too far. Unfortunately I developed epilepsy which is a good barometer!
I have continued to experience epilepsy but I have had some incredible experiences within my seizures, which can only be described as ‘other worldly’ and in one particular experience, beyond our laws of physics. So, for me I wholeheartedly believe that our reality is not what we perceive it to be. Our physical limitations are only governed by our perceptions. When you take the ‘processor mind’ out of the equation, the laws of physics change. From my experience in the Blue Pool I totally believe that our thoughts and perceptions create our reality.
I do now live a very different life to the one I did before but I see this as a hugely positive thing. Sandra and I met after the accident and are very happily married. My experiences in my coma were the inspiration for Blue Pool and I’m delighted to see Sandra flourishing in the creation of what was so closely aligned with her dream.
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I totally believe that one of the reasons that we met was to bring Blue Pool Network into fruition. Sandra had felt for so long that she had a calling to create something and it was only after we had to change our lives again to reduce my stress levels, (as I had something called ‘Status Epilepticus’ which is looping seizures), that the concept of Blue Pool was born.
Sandra had spent many years fascinated by all things spiritual and had found it a lonely journey at times, with many twists and turns and blind alleys, but along the way had met some incredible souls. It occurred to her that all these individuals were assisting others in beautiful and unique ways, with their soul growth, releasing trauma, their personal growth and in their businesses but they were all disconnected. What would happen if all of these amazing souls could come together to assist and support each other? Much like the collective consciousness in the Blue Pool. All pulling in the same direction, from the heart, with love, kindness and compassion. That would really be something that could change our world!
One Response
Steve, I have been fascinated to hear your story at the Blue Pool meetings but I have a deeper understanding of your time in a coma. You have written this from the heart and soul and it is an emotive reflection and I thank you for sharing this. As humans, we are naturally curious about the afterlife and our minds wander into many scenarios so reading about your experience has for me, taken the fear away and given certainty that our souls continue through all time and space and how blissful to be in a tranquil ‘Blue Pool’ whilst waiting for our call to reincarnate.